


It Was a Magical Place

by lunarweather



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Tahiti, Travis McGee novels, cover ups, secret SHIELD facilities
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-04
Updated: 2013-10-24
Packaged: 2017-12-28 10:46:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/991135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunarweather/pseuds/lunarweather
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coulson didn't go to Tahiti. He didn't go anywhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Empty Copper Sea

**Author's Note:**

> This is obviously what I believe will be revealed about Coulson and Tahiti. Little things in the show stuck out to me. If this isn't correct or really close, I will be surprised, but I guess there are many possibilities, so we'll see. Wow, I usually don't 'sound/seem so conceded/confident about what I think. Fun.
> 
> Sorry if this what everyone else has been posting; I haven't checked.

“Dopey is fine. He just had a little hiccup, nothing to be concerned about.” Fitz assured.

“Are you sure it was a hiccup? What if was a sneeze? He could be sick.” Simmons pressed.

Ward sat down on the couch and rolled his eyes. “Where’s Skye?” he asked Coulson, who was standing next to May. “She’s the one who called a meeting.”

“She,” May started, only to stop when Skye came into the room, a few papers in her hands. “Here she is.”

“So, Agent Coulson,” she said, immediately zeroing in on him, “how was Tahiti again?”

Everyone seemed to pause, taken off guard by her abruptness. 

“Is something wrong, Skye?” Ward asked.

“Why don’t we let Phil answer the question and we’ll see.”

Coulson took another moment before he answered. “It was-”

“A magical place, yeah yeah, we all got that part. How about what you told me that one time, when it was just you and me? You were a lot more descriptive.”

Coulson frowned. “I don’t think this is an appropriate topic right now, Skye.”

“Can’t remember what you said, Agent?” Skye asked, mockingly quizzical. “But you almost had it word for word. Don’t worry, I got this.” She said, holding up the papers and reading. “I believe you said, ‘The clouds turned to gold as the sun moved behind them, and the reflection of the clouds colored the earth. I have never seen the ocean so quiet. There were no ripples, no birds, no sign of-”

Coulson ripped the papers out of her hand, studying them. ‘What is this?”

“Your script Agent.” Skye accused, unable to stop the righteous anger she was feeling from showing. “You should talk to your writers; ripping off Travis McGee novels?”

Ward’s attention snapped from Skye to Coulson.

“Yeah, did a web search. That,” Skye motioned to the papers, “is from ‘The Empty Copper Sea’, published 1978.”

“Only junior agents use those backgrounds word for word.” May said, looking at Coulson, confused.

Simmons looked hurt. “You didn’t go to Tahiti?”

“Mai Tais and Travis McGee novels? Really, Coulson?” Ward asked. “You could have just said it was classified.”

“Everyone quiet.” Coulson commanded, turning to Skye. “Where did you get this?”

“It wasn’t hard to find.”

“Where?”

“SHIELD, where else?”

“What were you doing?” Coulson demanded.

Skye frowned, surprised by how quickly it had turned on her. “I...was looking into that building we were kicked out of. I mean we’re supposed to be red tape free right? So why wouldn’t we be let in if there was nothing there? So I tried to use you to get in. What?” she asked at the disapproving looks. “Anyway, I don’t know how, but I must have got lost, because I ended up somewhere with your scripts and boring videos of the beach. I-” She stopped, finally noticing how pale Coulson had become. “Are you alright?”

Coulson’s eyes flitted from the papers to invisible information around him, not quite focusing on anything, until his attention focused once again on Skye, his gaze intense. “Show me.”

\-------------------

Coulson had sat quietly at the computer for over fifteen minutes, going through videos of a beach, a shack. With each new clip he became more tense. “What else?”

“That’s it.” Skye admitted, shrugging her shoulders. “Before that stuff I couldn’t find anything. There’s no cameras, no electronic security, which means either SHIELD is really going old school or it’s all off grid.”

“There was nothing special about the place. It was a fluke we even stumbled over it.” Coulson said, more to himself than the group. He didn’t want to think about how it was Hill who had ended up calling him and ordering his team away. Didnt want to, but couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that began to spread. “We need to get in.”

“Hold on,” Fitz said, “I’m still a little lost as to exactly why we need to break into an, obviously, very secret SHIELD facility.”

“Alright,” Coulson nodded, “Ask me about Tahiti, Fitz.”

“But didn’t Skye-”

“Ask me.”

Fitz paused, then asked haltingly, “How was Tahiti, Agent Coulson?”

Coulson’s brow furrowed for a second before smoothing out, as he shook his head, “It was a magical place.”

“God, Coulson,” May breathed, “That’s a conditioned response.”

“What?” Simmons asked.

“A conditioned response,” Ward said, frowning, looking at Coulson with uncertainty, “obviously meant to reinforce false memory engrams.”

“False memory? Wait,” Skye turned to Coulson, “You actually think you went to Tahiti?”

“Nothing but an empty copper sea,” Coulson said, his mouth a thin line.

Skye blinked. “Shit.”


	2. Going Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow... In a day this story has over 300 views. My other stories are hereby put to shame. Thank you for reading and being interested in the idea!
> 
> And thanks for the review CarpeDiem.

\----------------------------------------

They had left the “bus” at an airfield two days ago; they didn’t want to risk bringing it too close to their destination. Risk SHIELD figuring out where they were going. And wasn’t that just a kick; they were hiding from SHIELD. Not officially. Officially they were going off the radar for a week following some leads. 

Giving it more thought, Coulson had offered the others an out, before they got too deep into this very personal mission. He wasn’t surprised when they had all refused to leave; but he was grateful.

After they had arrived at the hotel, Skye offered to get a hold of some contacts in the Rising Tide, for help, but Coulson vehemently refused, not wanting what they did know to get out when they still didn’t have the full picture. Skye hadn’t liked that and had went off about brainwashing and rights of the government before storming off. Ward had followed to keep her out of trouble.

Coulson didn’t fault her. Out of their entire team, Skye probably cared the most about… everything. She had such passion for everything she believed in and, he didn’t know when, but somewhere along the way she had begun to believe in Coulson. When she had confronted him, he could see the hurt she had tried so hard to hide. If Coulson had lied about something so trivial where was the truth in anything he said? Thankfully that wasn’t the case. He didn’t know if he would have been able to repair that.

Fitz and Simmons were crowded around a laptop in the back of the hotel room. They had sent the “seven dwarves” out to map out the facility defences and hopefully hook a tap into their system, giving Skye an in.

Coulson stood at the window, arms crossed, staring out through the sun curtains. Hill knew. If Hill knew, then so did Fury. What were they hiding? What could they possibly be hiding from him? He shook his head. It wasn’t just hiding. They were lying, covering it up, messing with his memories. He couldn’t think about that for long without his thought beginning to spiral down.

Skye and Ward returned, Skye much more subdued, and they quietly joined Fitz and Simmons in the back as May walked up beside Coulson and mirrored his folded arms. 

“Why Travis McGee?” She waited until he looked at her to continue. “Why plagiarize published works when they could have just made up something from scratch?”

“I own all of them. First editions,” he said with raise brows. 

May’s mouth quirked. “Of course.” 

“I must have reread them a dozen times over the years.”

“You didn’t think it was strange you were quoting them as your own thoughts?”

Coulson rubbed his hand over his face. “No. No I didn’t. And all of this tells me they really did their homework. This wasn’t simple hypnotic suggestion. Look hard enough and you can see through those. They used my books, I already had memories of reading them, holding them, to fill in the sensory gaps. They didn’t overload the memories with too much, making me feel bored so that I would be ready to get to work. Gave me words I was comfortable with, that I knew, words that wouldn’t feel strange for me to say.”

“‘It’s a magical place’?” May asked, in disbelief.

Coulson shrugged.

“I guess if you say it with your dry humor it works for sarcastic.”

Coulson huffed a small laugh.

A comfortable silence stretched out between them as May’s close proximity help calm his nerves.

Voices raised in the back, talking about sneezing, but May couldn’t tell if they meant Sneezy or Dopey or …

May smiled wide. “You picked one hell of a team, Phil,” she commended, earning her a smile. She turned to him. “And we’ve got your back.”

Coulson nodded, his face impassive. Only the slightest jutting of his chin conveyed his emotions. Anyone else who even noticed would see anger, maybe annoyance. But May saw worry, possibly even fear in the twitch; something she had to go back years in her memories to remember seeing on him.

“We’ll figure this out, Phil.” May reassured, while mentally hoping she was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This won't be a terribly long story; maybe four or five more chapters. Just depends on where inspiration and reviews take me. So, I guess it could be more.


	3. Security

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Kate and gaudy_night for reviewing!

\----------------------------------------

“No cameras. None.” Skye twitched her shoulders, still typing away, “Ok, there are some. But nothing on the second floor. What kind of government building doesn’t have cameras everywhere?”

“The kind that actually has secrets.” Ward offered.

“So in this case, ‘eyes only’ actually means eyes only. What do you know.”

Fitz frowned. “Are we sure this isn’t just some storage facility? I mean, the first and third floors look that way. What if the second floor just isn’t important enough for cameras?”

Skye shook her head, “Even if it is, whatever they have needs to be plugged in. Look at the power going to that floor.”

Coulson sighed, looking over everything Skye had pulled up. “Can you get us access?”

“Now that I’m hooked up to the building yeah, I’ll put access we need in. But if I wasn’t physically connected to the building, I wouldn’t be able to do this. Meaning, for someone to get access, everyone involved would need to go there to set it up. Meaning...”

“The guards might be suspicious since we’ve never been allowed in before.” Ward said unhappily.

“We’ll just need to make sure they’re not the same ones as last time.” May prompted. “It’s the security on the second floor we should be worried about. We’ve got no eyes. There’s no way to prepare for it.”

“I’ll come up with something.” Coulson said, walking away from the group, over to his bags

“You’ll come up with something?” Ward asked, following him, the other close behind. “What about us?”

“This is as far as you go.” Coulson said, switching out his side arms for similar looking tranque guns.

Sky scoffed, “Like hell it is.”

Ward pressed, “Sir, if you think I’m going to let you go in there alone-”

Coulson’s face was impassive. “You’re not letting me do anything if I order you to stand down.”

“Coulson-” May started.

“I know what you said May. And while I appreciate it, I’m about to go above my clearance level and break into a SHIELD facility, where I may have to subdue friendlies that will see me as a hostile, and will treat me as such. So, while I will only be firing tranquilizers, they’ll have live rounds.”

Ward moved around Coulson, cutting off his exit. “With all due respect, Sir, we were basically ordered not to come back to this place. And yet here we all are, willing to go against that. So you can order me to stay, but I’m just as willing to disregard that as well.”

“Plus, isn’t this how you got into this mess in the first place?” Skye accused. “Going off by yourself and getting stabbed?”

The room went silent. Coulson actually looked surprised.

Skye swallowed. “I just… would rather something like that not happen again… if Ward can help it.”

Ward raised his eyebrows, “Me?”

“Like you’d give me a gun. I’m a terrible shot.” She looked back to Coulson. “But I am more than willing to have a distraction ready if it’s needed.”

“Ooo, we should get Doc and Sleepy ready for another go!” Simmons exclaimed. “It would look very official if you were bringing in something. And then when you get into the second floor you can let them out and we can help!”

“Not Sleepy; Grumpy would be better right now.” Fitz said, following her.

Coulson opened his mouth to say something, but, unable to think of anything, closed it and looked to May.

“You chose this team.” May reminded, moving to the door and leaning against it. A casual reminder that he wasn’t going anywhere. “Did you really think that was going to work?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I know. But there will be reveals in all the chapters after this one.


	4. An Ordinary Building

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on posting this yesterday, but decided to watch last nights episode first, just in case. And ‘in case’ happened, and it was awesome.
> 
> *Spoilers to the third episode* I thought Skye shined last night. Who else loved it when she tried to explain why SHIELD was a good kind of big brother and it was jumbled up? I think they really kicked it up a notch from the last two.
> 
> Thank you farawisa for reviewing!

\----------------------------------------

“You sure you don’t need a distraction?” Skye asked Coulson, who was sitting across from her in the SUV. “I’m just saying, May would be better backup.”

“She is the backup.” Coulson said, motioning to May, as she drove into the facility parking lot. “She’s out here in case we need an extraction. You’re with us-”

“In case you need my mad skills, I know, and I’m not complaining. You trust me with this and that’s awesome. But you know me and ‘the field’ don’t get along too well.” 

“You’ll be fine Skye,” Ward assured.

“Of course I will, I can take care of myself. Mad skills, remember? Alright,” She settled in her seat, adjusting her suit jacket. “Look smart. Look smart.”

Ward leaned over as they stopped. “You probably should have brought some glasses too. I don’t think the suit and ponytail are going to cover it.”

Skye glared. “For that, I’m locking the shower controls on the bus to cold whenever you use it.” She smiled, grabbing the ‘dwarves’ case, “Have fun in the Polar Bear Club,” and followed Coulson out.

It looked like any three story office building; surrounded by others that looked just as ordinary and probably were. 

Coulson led them forward, Skye to his left, with the case, and Ward to his right. The doors looked like tinted glass but they knew they were most likely bulletproof. Coulson typed in the code Skye gave him into the keypad by the door, waiting until the green light flashed, then opened the door and walked into the lobby. There was one receptionist but they knew cameras were watching them and guards were stationed out of sight.

The plan was very straight forward and surprisingly truthful; they were bringing in some equipment to the second floor, Coulson was the head agent, Ward the muscle, and Skye the brains/scientist for the ‘dwarves’. FitzSimmons were in her ear if anything needed explaining.

Except nothing did, because all Coulson needed to say was, “We’re headed to the second floor.”

The receptionist blinked, “Oh,” her eyes moving to the case in Skye’s hands, then back to Coulson. “Yes, yes of course. I’ll just need to scan your hands.” She held out a pad to each in turn, waiting for the screen to flash green before moving on. “Further authorization will be needed at the elevator for all three of you.”

Coulson nodded and led the trio across the empty lobby to the elevator. There was another hand scanner and coded key pad then a panel opened revealing a retinal scanner.

As the doors closed Skye let out a breath, “What the hell?”

“Skye,” Coulson warned.

“There’s nothing in the elevator,” she assured. “So what the hell? She didn’t even check the case.”

“She didn’t.” Coulson frowned.

“Did you see how she looked at it?” Skye continued, “Like she didn’t want to know.”

“She’s probably not authorized for the second floor,” Ward put in.

“Still-”

The floor dinged, cutting Skye off, and the doors opened to another receptionist desk with a woman in a lab coat behind it. It was a small area, to the back right were sealed double doors with a guard.

The trio walked forward to the desk.

“Key cards,” the woman commanded, holding out her hand, then stopped. Her brows, which had raised expectantly, seemed to raise further in surprise as her gaze fell on Coulson. She took a breath, still staring at Coulson, then down at the papers on her desk. “Uh, no.” She shook her head. “No, no, no.” She flipped through more, continuously glancing up and down. 

By the doors, the guard was tense. 

The papers stopped shuffling and the woman looked up, her voice firm. “You shouldn’t be here. You need to leave.”

Coulson stared back at her. “I’m afraid we can’t do that.”

The guard was already moving for his gun. 

The receptionist’s eyes went wide as she caught the movement and she stood and turned to the guard, raising her arms, even as Ward’s tranque fired. “No! Don’t shoot! Don’t-” She went limp as dart hit her neck and she fell back into her chair.

Skye looked around with wide eyes, her grip tight on the case. Ward and Coulson shared a look, prompting Skye’s mouth into action. “Did she just try to stop the guard?”

May’s voice sounded in their ears. “She what?”

“Skye, we need those doors opened.” Coulson commanded, as Ward disarmed the unconscious guard.

Skye set the case down and moved around the desk. “She did, didn’t she? Seriously, what the hell is up with this place?” 

“She’s right, sir.” Ward said, tilting his head slightly. “Something off. She knew you on sight.”

“Or just the sight of me.”

There was a buzz and they heard the lock on the doors click.

Coulson grabbed the case. “Any silent alarms?” he asked Skye.

“Nope.”

“You want to wait here?”

“That didn’t sound like an order and really want to see what behind the doors, so,” Skye lifted the case from Coulson’s grasp, “I’m coming.”

Ward was through the doors first, his gun still drawn. His steps faltered for a split second before moving forward. As Coulson and Skye came through they saw why. They were is a large room full of curtains. Each sectioning off small areas.

Skye frowned. “This looks like a hospital.”

Ward drew back a curtain, revealing an unconscious man, in his thirties, in a bed. “Yeah, it does.”

There were over a dozen curtains and behind each one was another person in a bed.

“Well this was a little anticlimactic.” Skye complained.

Coulson nodded to the end of the room. “What about those doors?”

Skye looked over and noticed the keypads. “Give me a minute.” She said, walking over.

“A VIP ward for SHIELD?” Ward asked, though he sounded skeptical.

Coulson shook his head. “There’s got to be more to it than that,” the frustration clear in his voice.

They turned as they heard one of the doors click, but Skye looked surprised as the door swung open and man in a white coat stepped through. “What are you doing?” he asked Skye, his voice hard and accusing.

“We’re wondering that as well.” Coulson, said, drawing the man’s attention as they walked toward him.

The man’s eye went wide. “Sir!” His head twitched, an aborted move to look back to the room he had just exited. “Sir, it’s not safe for you to be here.” His left hand moved to his pocket, but Ward had him against the wall and restrained in an instant.

Ward frisked him and pulled out the phone he had been going for, handing it to Coulson.

“So, what are you doing here, Doctor? Are you a doctor?”

The man shook his head, “It’s classified, sir, you really need to leave. You shouldn’t be here.”

“I’m just going to…” Skye said, slipping into the room.

“Wait!” the man pled, Ward’s hold still firm.

There was a yelp from within the room and suddenly Skye was backing hurriedly out the door.

“Skye?” Coulson asked, moving to her side.

She flinched away from him, her eyes wide.

“Skye?”

She shook her head and took another step back from him. “It...it’s you.”

Coulson frowned, then quickly turned and entered the room, ignoring the protests of the man.

The room was dim, the only light, coming from a table lamp and the medical monitors. It looked like any private hospital room. Then he looked at the bed. Looked at the unconscious man. His breath caught. And wouldn’t release.

He was staring at himself.


	5. Authorization

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you gwynhefar, MelanisticMoon, torqu3bot, niukniuk, and farawisa for reviewing chapter 4!

\----------------------------------------

Coulson slowly walked out of the room. How long had he been in there? Minutes? Seconds? Had he run out, unwilling to look at… himself any longer?

“Someone want to fill me in?” he heard May ask.

“We don’t have a visual.” Fitz said.

Simmons continued, “The dwarves are still in the case.”

Skye was standing quietly by the wall. 

“Sir?”

He turned to a worried looking Ward, who still had the doctor restrained.

Coulson held up the doctor’s phone, “Who were you planning to call?”

The doctor actually looked relieved, “Director Fury.”

Coulson nodded. “Hold down one?”

The man nodded, visibly unnerved by Coulson’s demeanor. What? he thought, as he held one down. Had he expected yelling, crying, threats? He might be alright with threatening him.

It only rang twice before Fury answered. “If you’re calling me, Doctor, you had better have news.”

“I’ll say. The first thing he did was go for this phone.”

“Coulson?” Fury asked, his voice uncharacteristically quiet and… hopeful?

“Maybe you should explain why I’m currently looking at myself, unconscious, in a bed.”

The comms went noticeably silent.

Coulson could almost hear Fury straighten. “You shouldn’t be there.”

“So people keep telling me.”

“I’m ordering you to leave that facility, now.”

Coulson’s jaw clenched but his voice was quiet, “No.”

“Damn it Coulson-”

“If you’re about to say something about authorization or authority, sir, I really don’t care.”

The line beeped and went quiet. Coulson’s hand clenched around the phone, hard. He’d been put on hold. He could feel his life unraveling around him and Fury had put him on hold. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t just think about it, he started looking around for something to throw. There was nothing. A chair. But he couldn’t risk it hitting any of the patients. He took a deep breath instead of laughing at the absurdity of his thinking. He couldn’t even let himself breakdown like a normal person. Skye had shown more of a reaction than he had and he was the one in the bed. No, he was standing here. Someone else was laying in the bed. Someone who looked just like him. Someone they were hiding from him.

“Phil!” Fury’s voice cut through his suffocating thoughts. It sounded like it wasn’t the first time Fury had called his name.

“Sir.”

Fury let out a breath. “I’ll be there in an hour Coulson. Can I trust you not to torture information from any of the agents there in the mean time?”

Could Fury trust Coulson? Trust. What an interesting thought.

Fury must have realized he said the wrong thing and spoke again. “Can you be the professional I know you are until I get there?”

Fury was right. If nothing else, and he might not be anything else, he was a professional. He made himself revert to his default personality. His bland, emotionless voice. “Of course, sir.”

“Good. You might as well get the rest of your team there. By the time I get there, Hill should have everything in order to have them read in on this as well.”

“Yes, sir. I imagine you’ll want to talk to the doctor here, make it easier for my team to get up here.”

Fury hesitated. Hesitated. “Phil…”

“I’m handing you over now.” He held out the phone. “You can let him go, Ward.”

Coulson didn’t look at Ward or Skye. As soon as the phone was taken he returned to the room. He stood, back against the wall, facing the bed, arms folded. And stood there for the next hour, staring at himself.

\----------------------------------------

“What’s he doing in there?” Skye asked, tapping away at her phone.

“He’s still just standing there.” Fitz answered, sitting on the floor by the door. He seemed at a loss of what to do.

“He hasn’t moved for a while now,” Simmons said, her voice soft, “Do you think he’s alright?”

Skye shook her head, not looking up. “No way. Who would be alright after finding a secret clone of themselves.”

“Is it a clone?” Simmons asked slowly.

“We don’t know anything definite.” May said, stepping forward.

Skye raised her brows. “Yeah, that’s the problem. But let’s see what I can come up with.”

“What are you doing?” Ward demanded, snatching her phone.

“Hey! I’m looking for answers!”

“Where? Rising Tide?”

“Really?”

“You were ready to go to them before.”

“Yeah, before. Before we found his doppelganger. This is way bigger than we thought it was.”

“And your contacts would love to know about it.”

“You think I would do that to Coulson? He’s more important than that.” She sounded hurt, making Ward pause, the anger draining from him.

“Are you two done?” May asked.

Ward nodded, handing Skye’s phone back. “Sorry. I… I’m just on edge. I shouldn’t have let it affect my behavior.”

Skye reluctantly nodded back.

“We’re all feeling a little off.” May allowed.

“Couldn’t we just ask the doctor?” Fitz asked, motioning to the man moving from bed to bed.

He looked up from checking one of the patients, surprised.

“We can start getting answers,” Coulson said from the doorway, drawing everyone’s attention. 

The doctor looked alarmed. “Director Fury isn’t here yet.”

“And I told him I would wait an hour.” Coulson motioned to his watch. “Times up,” he said, giving him a ‘what can you do’ look.

“I…”

“Fury’s not here yet, so you really should be more worried about me. Why don’t you start by telling us about that man in there.”

“You’re… he’s, um…”

Coulson didn’t move, didn’t twitch.

“The body’s in a coma.”

“No shit.” Skye glanced around at the others. “Is he allowed to give obvious information?”

“I really can’t say anything.”

“I could break a few of his fingers.” Ward offered.

“That sounds a bit extreme.” Fitz said.

“Yes,” Simmons agreed, “I’m sure with the supplies they have here we could mix up something to get him talking. 

Fitz nodded.

“He’s not as afraid as he seems,” May announced. “Think about. He may be a doctor but he’s also a SHIELD agent. This act is just a ploy to get us to underestimate him.”

“I’ve got to say Coulson,” Fury called, across the room from the entryway. “I may still have my reservations about your team. But I _can_ see their appeal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fury's there now, so the next few chapters are the doozies.


	6. Here We Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reviewer on another site said something and I meant to respond sooner. Sekhem, I haven’t read any Travis McGee novels either. It stuck out to me, so I web searched Travis McGee and Tahiti, and got the description Skye quoted. Tada! 
> 
> Thank yous to all those who reviewed chapter 5! farawisa and hope_06.

\----------------------------------------

“You just keep doing what you’re doing doctor,” Fury said, making his way across the room to the team, “We’ll take this in the other room.”

The doctor nodded, looking far less cowardly and innocent than he had seconds earlier. Which unnerved the team a bit.

Fury stopped in front of them; giving them a moment to let his presence and proximity sink in. “Agent Coulson.”

“Director Fury.”

Fury breathed a sigh. “You shouldn’t have found out like this.”

Coulson gave a short nod, his face still impassive. “I agree.” 

Fury nodded and walked through the group, leading them into the private room.

“That’s it?” Skye asked in disbelief. “You’re not going to tear him a new one?”

Coulson waved her off as the team lined the wall closest to the door. Fury never said he was sorry for anything he did and if he apologised, it never sounded like one. That was just the way he was. He couldn’t afford to appear weak or lacking in control. Coulson understood that. Understood that that was probably the most he would get.

“We still don’t really know what I should tear him a new one for.” Coulson reminded, taking position ahead of his team. “Ready to give me a reason, sir?”

Fury stopped at the foot of the bed, eyes fixing on the unconscious man, a small, sad smile forming on his face for a second, before he turned back to Coulson. “That day on the Helicarrier, I told the Avengers you were down; that the medics had called it. I lied. By the time they got there your heart had stopped. They managed to get a pulse, but didn’t believe they could keep it. You crashed multiple times. No one expected you to survive, by all rights you shouldn’t have; so, of course, you did. But your body reacted to the trauma and blood loss and slipped into a coma, which you have not woken from.”

“You keep saying ‘you’, sir. I’m not in a coma,” Coulson motioned to the bed, “‘he’ is. So who am I?”

“You’re Phillip Coulson.”

“No, apparently, the man lying in the bed is Phillip Coulson. But I seem to have his memories, or is that all made up, like Tahiti?”

“I should have known I couldn’t send you to a tropical paradise and have you take it at face value.” Fury said, exasperated. “Everything you remember of your life before Loki is real, Coulson.”

“Everything except for me.” Coulson held out his arms. “I don’t know what to ask, because I feel real. This feels like skin. So, what am I?”

Fury gave him a regretful look. “You’re a Life Model Decoy.”

Coulson blinked; his brain trying to begin processing what was just said. But one piece of information screamed it’s way forward and he was unable to hide the shock and indignation from his voice. “Stark?” _He_ knows about this?”

Fury’s brow furrowed, his words precise. “What? No. Are you kidding? Why do you think most of this facility is off grid, why there are no cameras? This place is as Stark proof as we can make it.”

“But he-”

“Read some early stage classified documents and has had fun using that Life Model Decoy line a few times to throw it in our face.”

Skye spoke up. “But you know he probably knows Coulson’s alive right? He’s Tony Stark. All he had to do was look up the security feeds.”

Fury looked at her expectantly. “Really? And what did you find?”

Her mouth fell open once, “Nothing, but you’ve had plenty of time-”

“There was no footage. During the attack, our mainframe was,” Fury looked at Coulson, “compromised. Security on multiple decks were disabled. There was nothing for anyone to find.”

Coulson was silent as he looked over his body. “I bleed.”

“As you should. The body’s a bit more durable, but if it didn’t bleed or feel real, it wouldn’t be much of a decoy.”

The team stood in various degrees of shock. FitzSimmons were frowning and looked like they were trying to work out what an LMD would entail.

Coulson let out a sad sigh. “I have no muscle memory.”

“What?” May asked.

“Since I’ve been back, I‘ve had trouble doing things my body should have known by heart. Taking guns apart was the first one I noticed. There have been other things, that just felt a little off.”

“So, what?” Skye asked “You just download his brain into a robot?”

“The LMD’s are a bit more advanced than a robot. What do you think, these things just hop off an assembly line?”

“Hey, watch it!” Skye warned.

Fury turned, surprised, and looked at Skye like she was a child speaking out of turn. “Excuse me?”

She actually managed not to look too intimidated. When she felt Ward take a step closer to her, for support, she found her voice. “Coulson’s not a ‘thing’.”

Fury’s expression shifted, and they thought it might actually be respect forming as he continued to stare at Skye. “No, he’s not.”

“Then what happened?” Coulson asked, sounding more and more at a loss, “How are Coulson’s memories in here?”

Fury silently walked around Coulson’s bed to his head, then, carefully, took a hold of it and turned it toward himself, showing them the back of his head. The back, that had a very alien looking device attached to it.

“What is that?” May asked, slowly.

They were surprised when it was Ward who answered, his voice subdued. “That’s a Chitauri Neural Link.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm curious... Who saw that coming?


	7. Natural

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks josephine_x, farawisa, CJAndre, The_Mad_Fangirl, gaudy_night, and Rilannon for reviewing chapter 6!
> 
> I’m glad the Chitauri Neural Link was a surprise to most. I completely believe they introduced that thing for a reason on the show.

\----------------------------------------

“Chitauri.” Skye said, looking around, “As in the aliens that invaded?”

Fury nodded as he turned the head back. “Recovered technology, repurposed.” He stepped back from the bed and looked at the LMD Coulson. “When I said you were Phil Coulson, I meant it. The Link connects your brain to this LMD body. For you, this is the most realistic dream you will ever have.”

Coulson stared down at himself then to the body he was in and very deliberately took a deep breath. 

Ward placed a hand on his back. “Maybe you should sit down, sir.”

“Do I need to?” he asked Fury. “Do I even need to sleep? I get tired, don’t I?” He breathed again. Wait, did he breath, or was that just what his brain was telling him to do?

“Coulson-”

“Yes,” Coulson nodded, “I think I’ll sit.”

A chair was suddenly behind him and hands were helping him sit. “This is-”

“Very hard to explain.” Fury finished for him. “I only know the basics of how this all works. But it would be best if you didn’t think about it too much.”

Coulson laughed, what else was he suppose to think about now.

The room was quiet around him, then he heard Skye ask, “Coulson laughing is the equivalent of someone else going crazy, right?” 

He laughed again, softly, as his head dropped into his hands. He could hear the others murmuring, then a glass of water was held out to him. He reconized May’s arm. He looked up at her.

“FitzSimmons are looking for something you can eat.”

He nodded and took the glass, sipping it slowly. As he handed the glass back, his eyes locked on himself in the bed. “I… there was no head wound. Why won’t I wake up?”

Fury hadn’t moved. “We don’t know.”

“You said blood loss and trauma, right?” May prompted, “It’s been over a year since New York, how much has his body healed?”

Fury shifted, or as much as he would shift. “We’re working on that.”

“On what?” Coulson looked up. “Has my body healed or not?”

“As much as it can on it’s own.”

“How… how injured was I? What did the spear do?”

Fury braced himself. “I can’t tell you.”

“What?” Coulson asked, slowly.

“Can’t or won’t?” Skye demanded.

“It isn’t a good idea for you to know. We don’t know what will happen if I tell you.”

“What does that mean?” May asked.

Fury’s focus remained on Coulson. “The body you’re controlling right now is fine.”

“It’s fake.” Coulson ground out.

“It’s uninjured.” Fury countered. “But if I remind you what kind of injuries your actual body sustained and is still recovering from, whose to say your brain won’t automatically relay that information to this body? Say you have a broken arm and I tell you. The arm wouldn’t break in that body, but it might stop working, it might start acting broken. We don’t know. This kind of technology is new to us.”

“I thought you said Stark read old files on the program.” Ward said.

“He did. But until we got a hold of the neural links, we were never able to get it to work.”

“So you decided to test it on me?” Coulson demanded.

Fury scoffed. “Have you looked outside this room? No, you weren’t the first. But when it didn’t look like you were going to wake up, I had them start on an LMD for you, not knowing if it would work on someone in a natural coma.”

“Natural?” Fitz asked, from the doorway, a candybar in his hand, his face shocked. “Do you mean to say all those people out there are in drug induced comas?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it cuts off so abruptly, but this was the best place to cut off and let you digest some more.


	8. Coulson's Candy Bar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seduce him. That’s all I’m going to say, as I crack up laughing again. Great episode last night!
> 
> starsapphire, joshephina_x, farawisa, and hope_06 are awesome for reviewing chapter 7!
> 
> I am so very grateful for all the feedback and encouragement I have been getting for this story! Hopefully it continues to hold up to your expectations. The title might not, I had no idea what to call this chapter.

\-----------------------------------------

“Are they injured?” Simmons asked. “Is that why?”

Fury shook his head.

“But that can be-”

“Before you say anything, we are aware of the risks and so are the agents who were chosen and consented to this.”

“Blood clots, impaired immune response, cardiac arrest. They know all of that?” Simmons asked incredulously. 

“We’ve tried sleeping, simple sedation, but it’s not enough.They have to be put deep enough under that they are not aware of their real body at all. None of them have yet been put under for a significant amount of time. Continuously, Agent Coulson has been using his the longest.”

“That didn’t really answer the question.” Fitz said, after swallowing down a bite of the candy bar.

“Fitz!” Skye scolded, motioning to Coulson.

Fitz paused, looking down at the candy bar. “Oh, yes… uh,” his hands fiddled with it, “I could tear off the area I bit?” he asked, apologetically. “Or,” he continued at their looks, “I could go find another one for Coulson. Just give me a second.” He quickly left.

Coulson spoke up. “So no one else received a trip to Tahiti?”

“No. Every one of them is aware of where their body really is. 

“So I’m just special.”

“Your circumstances are. As I said we didn’t even know if the Link would function without your prior knowledge. It did, but enough time had passed that we needed to fill that space with something.”

“Why fabricate a lie?” Ward asked, “You say you couldn’t tell him the truth, why not just tell him he was in a coma?”

“Too much time had passed.” Fury answered simply.

“Muscle atrophy.” Simmons supplied.

Fury nodded. “No matter what, his body would have needed time to heal and build it’s strength again. Time, the body he was in, didn’t need.”

The room fell silent as everyone mulled around all of the information, thinking about the different times each of them had noticed something small or simply odd about Coulson, that they hadn’t paid attention to before. 

Sky broke the silence. “So you literally took Coulson out of his coma, to send him on crazy missions SHIELD didn’t know how to handle.”

Fury opened his mouth but Skye continued. “And I totally get that. A.C.’s a badass.”

Fury raised an eyebrow at Coulson, who was giving Skye a slightly fond expression.

“But what about all of them?” Skye asked, motioning to the people outside the room.

Fury shook his head. “And that is where the questions about the program are going to have to end. I don’t think I have to tell you all the kind of advantages these LMDs can give SHIELD and I won’t tell you because just you being in this building is putting them and their work in danger.” He stared down Skye. “And if I hear about any of this making it’s way to the Rising Tide, getting made into some crappy sci fi movie, or even featuring on some stay at home mom’s blog about how much easier life would be with a LMD, I’ll know who to talk to about it, won’t I?”

Skye looked around. “Am I getting transferred to public relations?”

She didn’t even realize Coulson had stood up, before he was calmly stepping between her and Fury. “I believe that would be me, sir. And I can assure you, anything we have learned here today will stay within my team. If anything is brought to light, it won’t be from us.”

Fury studied him for a few second before nodding, “Good to hear it.”

“There are still a few things I need clarification on, sir, before we end this meeting.”

Fury’s expression turned wary, “And that would be?”

“I want to know the extent of my injuries.”

“Ha! I found another one!” Fitz exclaimed, holding the candy bar out as he entered the room, but his smile vanished as he quickly,took in the tension. “I’ve missed something, haven’t I.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it is unclear, I am trying to practice my cliffhangers.


	9. Speak Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s time for Coulson to say something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> auchterlonie, farawisa, and EmmaSimone reviewed chapter 8, getting the thanks and gratitude of the author!

\----------------------------------------

“Didn’t Director Fury say that that would be dangerous?” Simmons asked.

“He also said said Coulson went to Tahiti.” Skye reminded.

“I’m telling the truth about this, Coulson.” Fury said, sincerely. “There’s no reason for me to lie.”

“Power play.” May offered. “He keeps the information, keeps the control.”

Coulson folded his arms. “I think we’re all very aware of who has the power in this situation, he wouldn’t need to lie to keep it.”

“That’s not-” Fury began.

“I understand that you didn’t have to do this for me. I’m grateful and a little surprised that I was deemed important enough for this, obviously, very expensive and exclusive program. But let’s take a moment, and talk about where I’m at here.” He didn’t wait for Fury to approve before he continued.

“I was stabbed through the chest by a wanna be god. I died; a few times, apparently. I’ve been lied to since before I woke up, and technically I’ve never regained consciousness. I’ve dealt with any uncertainty I’ve had, alone. Not wanting my team to doubt their leader and not wanting you to second guess your decision to let me back into the field. And now that possibility is taken to another level and brings up some scenarios that have been circling in my mind, because this isn’t my body. Right now I might as well have ‘Property of SHIELD’ stamped on my ass. So what happens when I’m not needed anymore? Or since LMDs are all still being tested, what if I’m deemed dangerous?” he chuckled, “Or not cost effective? What then?”

Silence.

Coulson continued his voice sharp and hinting dangerous. “I’ll tell you what happens, everyone in the ‘program’ gets sent back to their real bodies and they move on to the next mission. Everyone but me, because I’m in a damn coma! 8 seconds, a lie. Tahiti, a lie. My body, both of them, a lie! All in all, I think I’m taking this rather well, Nick.”

Fury’s eye twitched.

“I risk this tech every day in the field, so if I want to take my chances on the truth because I’m tired of getting lied to, and because I want to know what I could someday be sent back to, then I will. And if you think you can stop me, you can go to hell...sir.

“Or you can see this as the rare opportunity it is, for you, and think of this as further testing or future operatives.”

“I’m not comfortable with anyone seeing it that way.” May said, her voice hard.

Fury’s jaw clenched. After another moment of them staring at eachother Fury broke the gaze and hollered out of the room, “We need you to come in here Doctor!”

“Are you serious?” Ward asked, in disbelief.

“Didn’t you say you were trying to protect him?” Skye accused, “Guess you don’t have to care as much if someone willingly becomes the guinea pig, huh?”

“Skye,” Coulson warned.

Fury wasn’t amused. “First you’re upset that I’m keeping secrets, now, because I’m ready to tell the truth. You people need to make up your minds because, I believe, Agent Coulson has already made up his. Unless you all want to join me on the list of people making decisions for him?”

Everyone on the team looked conflicted, like they wanted to object, but knew that they couldn’t. 

Coulson turned to them, his voice reassuring, “You don’t need to protect me from this. We came here for the truth and that’s what I’m getting. No matter what.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will finally tell you in the next chapter, I promise!


	10. What was he thinking?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need to apologize for how long it took to get this chapter out. It DID NOT want to get written. Nothing felt right. I kept restarting it and rewriting. But it’s finished now and it is different from the other chapters but this was the only way I could make it work. Everything else was too abrupt. 
> 
> AoS Episode talk: Seriously, these keep getting better. “Oh no, they gave him a name.” So funny. Then at the same time, what happened to him was really messed up. It was way more graphic than I thought it would be. And the next episode? ‘FZZT’? Before I saw the promo I thought ‘that looks like Fitz’, and now I’m afraid an crazy excited! Also, Coulson took that man out with one punch to the face, just saying.
> 
> Wowzas to farawisa, CJAndre and hope_06 for your reviews of chapter 9!

————————————————————

**Coulson slammed the butt of the gun across the mercenary’s head and leveled the weapon at Loki. “Move away, please.”**

**Loki warily stepped away from the console, his attention solely on the agent.**

**What the hell was he thinking?**

**Stark and Rogers were keeping the Helicarrier up. Romanoff was going after Barton. Thor was fighting the Hulk. He hadn’t thought about it, just did what needed to be done. He was passed second guessing now. He had to give everyone time. He needed to get Thor out of there.**

**He lifted the gun slightly. “You like this?” he asked, moving forward. “We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer.”**

**Loki wasn’t moving back anymore. Shit. He’s coming forward. Hands ready. He’s not afraid.**

**He didn’t need to be afraid, just wary enough for Coulson to get to the door release for the cell. “Even I don’t know what it does.” It better, at least, work. He quickly hit the button, powering up the gun. “Wanna find out?”**

**Pain cut through him. So much pain, he couldn’t even scream, couldn’t move. His body was released and he fell to the side, hitting the wall and sliding to the floor. His breaths were fast and erratic. Breathe. Breathe. He wasn’t getting enough oxygen, but how?**

**Loki walked in front of him, back toward the console, blood dripping from the spear. Blood.**

“The blade nicked your Brachiocephalic vein and Arch of aorta. They’re close enough to the heart that you were lucky that was all that it did to them, but even that was enough. You were bleeding out on the inside.”

**He started to feel cold. His arms tingled, like they had been asleep. The pain was gone. He could work with shock; finish what he started before his brain caught up to the damage. He just needed to move.**

**Move.**

**His fingers twitched.**

**There was no pain.**

“What else?”

“It cut into your spinal cord, damaging your upper Thoracic nerves.”

**He couldn’t move his legs. Couldn’t even feel them. His right leg began to slide down, under the weight of the gun.**

“You were on a ventilator, until you had a surgery that was able to repair some of the damage.”

**He wasn’t breathing. No really. The nerves were spasming. The shock was keeping his lungs working.**

**Loki was at the console.**

**Coulson focused everything on moving his left hand. Moving along the weapon, up to the trigger.**

**Thor dropped and the opening closed.**

**He just needed Loki in it’s sights. “You’re going to lose.” Coulson knew he would. Everything may be going to hell right now, exactly how Loki was describing it, but that was when the heroes stood up and fought even harder.**

**“You lack conviction.” And Loki knew it too. He pulled the trigger.**

“We don’t know the full damage to your arms but you will most likely never walk again.”

He couldn’t breathe.

“Alright, that’s enough.” May?

“If you ever wake up.”

“Shut him up!” Sky.

**His hands didn’t tingle anymore, the sensation had moved to his lips. His leg finished sliding to the ground. Somehow he felt cold.**

Muffled voices buzzed around him.

“Coulson!”

“...flashback?”

He didn’t feel his knees hit the ground.

**There was no pain.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m visiting family with not as much computer access but this story will be wrapped up before November as I have other things I am sworn to do during that month.


End file.
